I'm going to do a poetry slam, this is the poem I've decided on.?
What do you think? I think I can make it work, but is it even good enough? I just wrote it this week, and its short, so easy to memorize for my first time. What is your suggestion?
In a Garden Among the Dead
Our love was a fallacy
Burried lies and
Burried lives
In a garden among the dead
The false flowers are stark
Against your granite grave
The freshly carved words
Mark your life and death
In a garden among the dead
Our unreal love rings true
The bell tolls as a wedding is through
And the widow stands alone
Wow.
Without a doubt the best poem I've read on Yahoo! Answers for a long time.
I admire your ability to portray such sadness in words, I loved your use of emotive language and powerul adjectives.
I dont think you should change anything. But, Practise saying it exactly how you want to, because you will speed up when under pressure.
Great Job, perhaps you should think of getting it published.
US $39.95
